If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
