I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
