I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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