Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize