I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
