I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize