have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
