She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
is that a dick in a sweater?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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