Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
