Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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