I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize