So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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