don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Shame - the story of my life.
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