Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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