We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
