Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
