im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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