I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
