THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's the barista slut.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
