you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
