you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize