Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
