I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
