I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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