idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
