I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
