There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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