I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
