Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
