People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
