how can u be prego again
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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