I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
where am i from again
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
