Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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