She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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