talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Your cock deserves a montage
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
