Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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