Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
