But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
