You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
