just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
