This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
