I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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