thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
