you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize