we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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