How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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