So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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