I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
