oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
