I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
