What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just found a bag of teeth...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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