you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
