I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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