I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
