he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
