oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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