i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
