Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
