No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
