I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
