this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Panties = found
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
