real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Boobs speak an international language.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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