been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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