Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
